dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize