I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
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I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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