I heard we made out
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
