That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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