Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
another moral hangover. fuck.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just had sex on a roof
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
