you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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