We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
