Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
