Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize