God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You can't special order awesome
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize