I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
