Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize