we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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