T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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