apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i believe in u and ur pee
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
