Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
