he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
