just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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