we have pet lesbian snakes
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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