Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Never underestimate the power of titties
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
