I need help removing her.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
