well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
