She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize