Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize