I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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