Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
