I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize