The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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