Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize