More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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