Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
