But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
