I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
