I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
