he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize