im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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