you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
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like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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