I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Bring me that man meat
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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