Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
