Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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