No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
pop tarts are not kleenex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
