i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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