Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
