I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize