One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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