you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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