It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
