i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
