If i come over, it means nothing
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
