trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
well you can't waste a boner
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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