The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
