I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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