Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
