Well apparently he's into motor boating.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
